I've Loved and I've Lost
by MoonByDaySunByNight
Summary: I look up to find the recently sunny sky filled with crying clouds. I smile at my dying wish, rain, and look to that face I love; I reach for their hand as the world becomes dark and hazy, they intertwines their fingers with mine, my eyes begin to droop as I am able to mutter out, "I love you." The dark haze begins to enclose everything, and the last thing I see...
1. Goodbyes and Hellos

The seagulls squawk and the waves crash, but besides that my ears hear nothing but silence, shear and utter silence. As I stare through the window at the sky I see that it is touched with orange, red, blue, and a hint of purple; I faintly smile at the beauty, but that smile quickly fades as I realize that today is a day of sorrow, pain, and loss that must be cruelly celebrated. Today is the day of the Reaping, also known as step one of the hell that is the Hunger Games. For districts 1, 2, and my beloved District 4 (the Career Districts) the Games are honorable, just, and glorified, and in other 9 districts it is torture, murder, and certain death.

To my district the games are a good thing but I share the same mindset of Districts 3, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, and 12; to me the games are nothing but children being force to kill or be killed for the entertainment of the sadistic capitol citizens. They laugh at the deaths of children, while the majority of the Panem population has never known the feeling of an overflowed stomach. My mind races with the thought of there being yet another Hunger Games, yet more blood, yet more death; all of these thoughts yell at me through the silence, and that's when I hear him.

"Maena!" My father screams from the bottom of the staircase.

"Yes?"

"Get down here! NOW!"

I sprint down the stairs to be met by black fabric.

"Here, wear it today."

I look at the dress, it is long enough to reach about 6 inches above my knee, which is 6 inches too short for my taste. "Thank you, but I already have an outfit picked out."

Just as I begin to believe that I will waltz away from this discussion with the choice to wear the outfit I had already chosen, but I quickly find out that I am wrong.

He slaps me so hard I am slammed against the wall, and then he pushes me to the floor and strucks my 16 year old body again and again.

_**I should yell to him, scream his name, he is only two houses down. I need him to help me.**_

Just as I'm about to scream his name, through the cries of pain, my father's fist connects with my chest making me struggle to take my next breaths. "You're going to wear anything I tell you to wear! You got that!" He yells in between punches.

"Yes, ok, I'm sorry." I choke, hoping he would let me go.

After a couple more hits he gets off of my mangled body and throws the dress on me as I lay there catching my breath.

I trudge upstairs to clean myself up; when I gaze at my reflection I'm appalled at what I see; my eye is enclosed in a dark purple hue, my temple is dripping blood and my body is covered in cuts and bruises.

I wash the blood away, grab the dress, and rush out the door. _**I need to see him, I need him to hold me, and I just need to be in the same room as him.**_

In no time I'm at his house, knocking on his door. His shiny brown curls swish sideways down his forehead, his sparkling green-hazel eyes grow worried at the sight of my distorted body, he instantly draws me into a hug and kisses the top of my head, and I sob into his shirt again and again.

"It's ok, I'm right here, you're ok." He leads me into his little sister, Kylee's, room so I can attempt to get a couple winks of rest while she is sleeping with her mother but I can't think of anything except the throbbing pain that shackles my body.

When I finally give up on rest I slowly file into his room, and I notice his eyes staring blankly at the wall, his eyes meet mine before he gets up and says, "You can't sleep either?"

"Nope, hey you want to go to the beach?"

"Sure. But first we got to get some ice on that pretty little eye right there."

He tangles his fingers with mine and leads me to the kitchen. I get a towel and he places the cubes of frozen water on top and pulls the corners together.

"Jayson, I'm not a baby I can handle a black eye, you don't have to take care of me."

"Yeah, well you're my baby, and I'll take care of you if I want to, ok?"

I nod in an attempt to hide my blushing and smiling.

"Alright, so chair, sit, now."

"Fine, gosh you're bossy." I sit as he begins to press the cold towel onto my eye; I wince at the first touch of ice.

"Oh, sorry babe."

"I'm fine."

He looks deep into my bruised eye and whispers to me, "So, what was today's beating for?"

"I told him that I already picked out a dress for the Reaping after he got one for me." as I speak I can feel his body tense and scorch in anger.

"You still want to go to the beach?" I change the subject knowing if I don't he'll want to go to my house and fight with my dad and that's the last thing I want him to do.

"Yea, let's go, and you better keep that ice pack on your face."

"Yeah, sure DAD."

"Oh I like when you call me Dad."

"Oh really?" my smile grows wider, if that's even possible, as I inch towards him.

"Yes really, say it again." his smile grows as well as he follows my inching.

"What you want me to call you Dad?" I snake my arms around his neck. He nods his head and wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me up from the chair. "How about Daddy?"

"That's even better." he chuckles planting a kiss on my lips, I mesh my fingers into his hair as he squeezes my waist even closer to him. We continue kissing for a couple minutes before he breaks away from me and says, "Come on, let's go."

We walk hand in hand to the beach, but I want more, I want to be closer to him, I release his hand and clamp my arm around him and push myself closer to him, he follows my lead and binds my neck in his arm, squeezes me even closer, and then he kisses the top of my head.

The beauty of the ocean is peaked when it could possibly be your last day gazing at it. I turn my head to stare at the beauty next to me, the incandescent green-hazel eyes that lose their green as they survey the sunny horizon, the dazzling smile that makes even the brightest of stars burn in envy, the hair that rises and falls mimicking the very waves before us.

"What?" he remarks when he notices my staring.

For the first time, I will admit my feelings to him, I won't hold it in anymore, I won't wait for him to say it first, I have to say what I feel, I have to tell him, "I love you."

"I love you too."

I just smile and press my lips against his again and again and again enjoying the enchanting feeling of his lips against mine.

* * *

We spend the next hour lying in the sand; my head on his chest accepting the sound of his beating heart; drenching one another in the salty water, and peering at the open horizon as the sun fully awakens, then we decide to head back to his house and get ready. I slip the dress on and to my surprise the dress was tied around my neck revealing my entire back, at least this dress has one thing in my favor although I would rather it shown half of my back instead of the whole patch of skin. I walk to the kitchen so Jayson's mother, Celia, could hide my bruises with her magic make-up. When she is done applying the make-up and combing my hair I stand so she can get Kylee ready.

"Maena you look really pretty."

"Aw, I may look pretty but you look beautiful."

"Aw you're nice."

"I know." I say as I begin to tickle her chin, she giggles and pushes my hand away; I give her a quick little kiss on her cheek while Celia finishes her hair.

"I love you Maena."

"I love you too Kylee."

Kylee is 10, two years away from her first reaping, but she still has to wonder if this was going to be the year if the Capitol would take away either her big brother, or best friend.

Jayson then strolls down the stairs in a black tuxedo jacket and dark denim jeans; I took deep breaths in an attempt to slow my now racing heartbeat. "Wow you look hot." He says.

"You took the words right out of my mouth." I said continuing to catch my breath.

Once Celia finishes Kylee, she quickly gets ready and we head out towards the Town Square, Jayson slithers his hand into mine and slightly crushes it, I try and relax but I can feel my hand shaking in his.

"Chill, there not going to pick you." I listen to his attempt at calming my nerves.

"Jayson, my name is in there 35 times."

"I told you not to take tesserae for my family then you'd only have 15. So just relax, ok, I won't let anything happen to you, I promise." His words linger in my mind as he fastens his arm around me.

I pace to the section marked off for 16-year-old-girls as Jayson makes his way to the 17-year-old-boys, I turn and look to him and his bright green-hazel eyes meet my dark brown eyes. He smiles at me reassuringly as the mayor begins his speech about the first rebellion, the Dark Days, and why we have the Hunger Games. I zone out, it's the same speech every year so I could care less. But when Lania Skye steps toward the podium in her wedged zebra ankle boots, a skintight neon green dress and hair spiked in every direction colored to match, she has my undivided attention.

Thankfully she doesn't have an ongoing, unoriginal speech, so she gets right to it, "Happy Hunger Games and may the odds be EVER in your favor. So let us start with the ladies." She steps to the bowl which holds every District 4 girl from the ages of 12 to 18 she slowly leads her hand the bowl and spins it around the bowl a few times before she pulls out a snow white piece of paper held together by a sliver of midnight black tape. She rips the tape, opens the paper and says the last thing I would ever want her to say.

* * *

"Maena St. Clair"

The entire Square cheers as I stand there shell-shocked. _**I've just been reaped.**_ My heart stops as I realize that this morning was most likely the last time I will ever see Jayson again.

I look to him and he looks at me with only one expression clear on his face, anger.

I walk up to the stage, the cheers grow louder in the boy's section as I am projected on the big TV screen behind me, I roll my eyes and chuckle at the immaturity. Lania pats me on the back saying, "Any volunteers?" The crowd grows silent, "Well then congratulations Maena." I force a smile to snake across my face, then the crowd bursts into another round of applause but above the joining hands I notice a yelling coming from the far back of the crowd. My mind explodes with hatred when I see my father jumping, hooting, and hollering, happy that I was being sent to my death.

"Now for the boys." She continues. She repeats her hand circles in the boy's bowl.

_**Please, don't pick Jayson. Anyone but Jayson. Please.**_

"Eric Fishford."

A mangy little 12-year-old kid walks into the aisle and I let out a quick sigh of relief that it's not Jayson but I'm still not happy that a little kid is being sent to his death either. He begins to walk to the stage but a voice all too familiar to me stops him.

"I volunteer!"

He makes his way to the aisle from the 17-year-old boys and past Eric, my face goes from artificial happiness to legitimate anger in a split second. Once I see the face that matches his voice, when he walks up to the stage he looks at me when he makes his way past me and I glare back at him.

"What is your name sweetie?" Lania asks once he gets to his place on the left of her, opposite of me.

"Jayson, Jayson Reynolds."

"Alright, shake hands you two." We do as we are told, Jayson looks into my eyes with a worried yet relieved look, and I return it with anger. "Here are you District 4 tributes for the 74th Annual Hunger Games Maena St. Clair and Jayson Reynolds." And with that Lania lifts our hands up for a moment then we are taken into the Justice Building to say our final goodbyes.

After about 10 minutes of me sitting in that velvety room all alone Celia and Kylee arrive. Kylee runs into my arms, sobbing into my shoulder, "I don't want you to go." she weeps.

At her words I allow my every guard to crumble down and begin to cry, "I don't want to leave either."

Kylee kisses my cheek and whispers, "I love you, like a big sister."

I kiss her forehead and smile, "I love you too, little sister."

Celia takes one step toward me; I meet her half way and embrace her, my face flooding with tears.

"Celia, listen to me, ok, I'm going to do everything I can to bring him back to you, I promise."

"Thank you," she says, "Maena, even if your blood doesn't match mine, you have always been and always will be my daughter."

I let out one last wail of sorrow once the Peacekeeper opens the door, signaling that our time is done. I embrace Celia one last time, "You are the closest thing to a mother that I have ever had, and I love you."

Celia takes something out of her pocket, a necklace with a shell swirled again and again to form a perfect circle its color bright red in the center and fading to a pale pink with every swirl, "I want you to have this, take it as your token." I nod and smile, incapable of words that won't include tears, I hug them both once more and they are forced to leave.

* * *

And that's when my father stumbles in stone-cold wasted.

"WOW! This is the happiest day of my life." are the first words to slither past his tongue.

"Why would you be happy about this?" I reply wiping my face.

"If you die I don't ever have to see you again and if you win, highly unlikely, I move into the Victor's Village." he says with a sadistic smile across his face.

I looked at him, hatred spilling out of every pore.

He walks out of the room after saying, "Happy Hunger Games. It looks like the odds are in MY favor this year."

* * *

**_A/N: hey thanks for reading i hope you enjoyed if you didn't please review and tell me how to make it better and trust me this story will get ALOT better i promise (and i always keep my promises)_**


	2. The Little Mermaid

I follow Lania to the train and see that Jayson is sitting in the dining car having a chat with famous Finnick Odair and Annie Cresta, our mentors, when our eyes meet. Their conversation falls silent and Jayson stands and walks towards me, outstretching his arms. I push my arm out into his chest, holding him back.

"You're mad." He says.

"Mad, Jayson try pissed. Why did you volunteer?" I glare up about 6 inches square into his eyes.

"It was an instinct ok, every instinct I have points to protecting the people I love. May, I volunteered to protect you."

"Jayson there can only be one Victor, ONE."

"I know, just don't be mad at me, please."

I coil my arms underneath his shoulders and he in turn circles his around my neck. I hug him as if my life depends on it; he pulls away, tickles his lips against mine, then places his forehead against mine and he looks deep into my eyes, "I love you."

"I love you too." I ensnare my fingers in his wavy hair, praying this moment could last forever. He squeezes me once more before I notice Finnick, Annie, and Lania staring at us.

"You guys are adorable, the Capitol citizens love that love stuff." Finnick begins.

"And you don't?" Annie giggles.

I can't do anything but smile when Finnick reaches down and kisses her softly, sweetly, and passionately then continues, "If I didn't, then how would it be possible to fall in love with you."

"Aw, this room is filled with love. I love it!" Lania injected in her squeaky Capitol accent.

Jayson takes my hand in his and leads me to the table where an array of food is already waiting; short-grained rice, beans, fish, chicken spaghetti, chicken sandwiches, and fish sandwiches; I scarf down a chicken sandwich and Jayson and I take turns feeding each other spaghetti.

After dinner we watch the recap of the Reapings.

District 1's tributes, Glimmer and Marvel, look overly ostentatious, of course, but I make a mental note to watch out for them since they are Careers.

District 2, WOW! The boy, Cato, is surprisingly attractive, he has piercing blue eyes, light blonde hair, not to mention he has muscle on top of muscle on top of muscle and the girl, Clove, has an even more sadistic smile than my father, which I never thought was even possible, both added to the list.

The District 5 girl, Janely, looks sneaky, sly, and she had the face of a fox.

District 7 the girl, Ashleigh, looks as if she will do anything to win, she is also added.

In District 8 there is a slight disturbance in the crowd once a 15-year-old girl, Harlow, is chosen. But she ignores it and walks to the stage as if it never happened.

During District 11's reaping I almost start crying. A little girl named Rue, who is 12 years old, is chosen as a tribute. It brings tears to my eyes, she should be running around playing and frolicking with her friends, she shouldn't be being sent to fight for her life. And no one volunteers for her and the boy, Thresh, is about is about the same size as the guy from 2.

District 12 is very dramatic. A little girl named Primrose, she is most likely the same age as the girl from 11, has been chosen and almost instantly a girl in the audience volunteers. The girl in the audience was Primrose's older sister, Katniss. She is on the brink of tears when a guy carries of Primrose but when she walks up to the stage her face is completely emotionless.

When the recaps finish Lania basically orders us off to bed since we'll be arriving in the Capitol tomorrow morning. I give Jayson a quick kiss before I go to my room and fall into my subconscious.

* * *

_**I am drenched in blood and standing in the middle of a circle of dead tributes, but these aren't just tributes, in the traces of wild lifeless eyes I spot the ever so beautiful hazel eyes of Celia, the mother I never had, and next to her are the green-hazel eyes that reflect light blue in the setting sun, Kylee, and I begin to cry. But the next set of eyes make me fall to my knees, the luminous green-hazel eyes that have saved my life more times than I can count, the amazing green-hazel eyes that I hold onto when I'm in need, the fluorescent green-hazel eyes that I have fallen in love with.**_

"_**Jayson." I whisper, and at my voice a spark of life revives in his eyes.**_

"_**It's not your fault." He whispers before exhaling and closing his eyes.**_

"_**Jayson wake up. Please, please wake up. I love you, please wake up. Please. JAYSON!" I shake his shoulders hoping it will bring him back. I place my head onto his chest and soak it with my tears. I get up and see another pair of eyes. Big, brown, comatose eyes that struck the most fear in my heart.**_

I scream waking from my nightmare and in no time Jayson runs into my room, wearing only pajama pants, "What's wrong? What happened? Are you ok?" he says as he sits on my bed and places my shaking body on his lap.

"I'm fine, it was just a nightmare." I whisper.

"Just a nightmare, come on, tell me about it."

I tell him every detail of the dream; but I leave out the last pair of eyes, I don't want him to ask questions that I can't answer. He holds me tightly while we sit in silence my head on his chest and his chin on the top of my head.

"Jayson, please stay, so I know you're safe. Please" I whisper into his bare chest. He nods and we slip underneath the blankets, my head still on his chest his steady heartbeat acting as the ultimate lullaby, his arm around my body, his hand placed on my waist, me snuggling up to him, he kisses the top of my head. "I love you." He whispers.

"I love you too." I return as I fall unconscious.

* * *

"Maen-oh!" Lania says as she barges into my room and finds Jayson shirtless in my bed. My eyes sleepily blink open and up to find an already awake Jayson staring at me with his beautiful smile and electrifying eyes. "Morning." He says to me then again to Lania.

"Hey." I say listening again to his beating heart. _**His heart will be the one that's still beating when the Games are over. No matter what happens, he WILL be the victor of the 74th Hunger Games, even though that means my heart will be silent forever. **_I think to myself.

Lania commands us to get out of bed and we obey, Jayson goes back to his room but not before grabbing my neck and pressing his lips against mine, "See, I'm perfectly fine. But more importantly, you're perfectly fine with me."

I smile as he leaves. I can't stop smiling; I take a shower and put on denim shorts and a black tank top then head to breakfast, still smiling. I'm last to arrive to breakfast and I'm wedged between Lania and Annie, across from Finnick and Jayson.

"We're almost at the Capitol so once we get there you two will be handed straight to your stylists," Annie says, "And you probably won't like what your prep team does to you but don't be rude, ok? Trust me they can make the pain much more intense." Annie wears an expression as if she can still feel the pain of her former prep team.

Soon after we finish breakfast we arrive to the Capitol. The instant the train stops we are encircled by Capitol citizens; we exit the train into the rainbow sea of people. I squeeze Jayson's hand as I smile and wave to the cameras as they beg for pictures. Soon we enter a building and are sent to be prepped.

My screams fill the white room as they extract every strand of hair from my body, detangle and highlight my hair red, paint my nails, and do my make-up. Soon when they are done with the torture the colorful people leave and a man walks into the room. He looks really simple, black hair, black shirt, and black pants, he walks up to me and I notice his eyelids are also shadowed black, "Hello, I'm Alexander and I will be your stylist." he says, "So let's get you ready for the parade shall we."

Shimmering green, sparkling blue, and shining purple fish scales are painted on my arms, neck, and stomach, one blue fin is glued to each of my forearms, and two seashells made into a bra surround my breasts, and Celia's necklace is still bordered around my neck. I put on a pair of denim shorts after Alexander tells me that he'll put on the last piece of my costume once we arrive to the chariots since I won't be able to walk once I put it on. We walk backstage and Alexander hands me the final piece, a sea green tail. I sit on the top of the chariot as Alexander slips the tail onto my legs.

Then I see him.

A puffy, white, buttoned down sailor shirt, blue jeans, and his beautiful brown hair is combed back. He smiles the second he sees me and I do the same, when he reaches the chariot he plants a sweet kiss on my lips and I place my hand on his cheek and smile even more. He wraps his arms around my waist securing me to the top of the ocean blue and sea green chariot.

I thank Alexander and the parade begins.

The District 1 tributes are extremely extravagant in there pink feathers, glitter, and jewels.

District 2, in there Roman gladiator garb, glare into the crowd striking fear into my mind.

When it's our turn Jayson kisses my side reassuring me that he is still there, hanging onto my body like it is the only thing keeping him sane. We ride out into an arena overflowing in people they cheer and holler and I can do nothing but smile and wave, Jayson releases one hand and does the same, flowers are being thrown at us and the audience goes wild. Once we come to a halt at the cul-de-sac I continue to watch the other tributes arrive. The crowd loves every second of it, but the big finally sends the crowd into frenzy.

_**KATNISS AND PEETA ARE ON FIRE! **_WOW! I am in awe first by their fully black suits and AWESOME hairstyle, but fire that sets the bar higher than ever. I look out of the corner of my eye and see Cato glaring at them, hatred flaming in his eyes. When President Snow is done with his speech we go into the Training Center, where we will stay until the Games, after being praised by our team Finnick says we should head up to our room. I notice Katniss and Peeta talking to their team from across the walk way.

"Wait; just give me second, please." I ask as I step out of the mermaid tail. Finnick nods and I make my way towards them. They are talking to their mentor, Haymitch Abernathy; he is the first to make eye contact with me.

"Hey, sweetheart, I loved your tail."

I smile, "Thank you. I loved you guy's costumes, the fire was AMAZING."

"Thank you." Their stylists say simultaneously.

"Um, oh, I'm sorry. I'm Maena from District 4."

"I'm Peeta, and this is Katniss." The boy, Peeta, injects.

I look at Katniss and smile, "Hi, I just wanted to tell you that I really respected what you did for your little sister," I continue, not giving her a chance to respond, "So yeah. Great costumes and I'll see you at training tomorrow, maybe we could train together." I walk back to my group as they smile and nod, as I walk I can feel every eye on me but I don't mind, I kinda like it.

Once we step out of the elevator and onto our floor I am astonished at what I see, fluffy blue carpets made to imitate the ocean. Green sofas in the living room, and purple chairs in the dining room, and best of all and indoor pool, I start to the pool, but Finnick pulls me back, "Whoa, before you guys go into the pool you might want to take a shower, we don't want your make-up floating around when we're swimming." I sigh but obey.

I go into the shower where there is an array of buttons, I turn on the water and wash my body and hair with soap the scent of the ocean breeze, I am reminded of the day of the Reaping when Jayson and I were on the beach and I told him I loved him, that was the very first time I have ever said those words to anyone and I'm glad I said it to him.

The paint scrubs away almost instantly, I tug on the fins after the glue fairly washes away and they come right off, and I wipe every inch of make-up off. I finally feel clean after I wash my body once again with the same scent as my life's favorite moment.

I get out of the shower and get dressed into the swimsuit laid out for me on my bed, the top is pink with black polka dots and the bottom matches. I put it on and pull pale blue jean shorts on as well. I walk to the pool and find I am the only one not swimming; I jump in and I'm met by an attack of splashes and dunks.

After a while of swimming and playing Finnick turns on the pool's TV and we sit on the perimeter with our feet in the water to watch the recaps of the Tribute Parade. When it is finished Finnick, who is sitting right next to me, begins the conversation, "So Maena, why did you go over the District 12 tributes?" he raises a single eyebrow for emphasis.

"I just wanted to tell them that I really liked their outfits and that I respected Katniss for volunteering for her sister. Oh, and their names are Katniss and Peeta, not District 12." I smile, attempting to raise my eyebrow but it won't move without its twin. Finnick chuckles at my epic fail and continues

"Ok," I notice him staring at my body but before I can ask why he says, "What happened to you? What's with all these cuts and bruises?"

My smile quickly disappears. Finnick's eyes are trained to locate fish, even in murky lake water so that must be why he was the only one who could see my fading scars, that and he was right next to me, I was surprised that my prep team didn't see them even though they did see me naked. Their eyes are probably damaged from looking and wearing such bright colors.

"My dad, he um, he hits me. Most of the time he's drunk and sometimes it's for no reason or the dumbest reasons. On the day of the Reaping he beat me because I didn't want to wear the outfit he picked out. And he came to the Justice Building happy because no matter the outcome of the games he wins either way, if I die he never has to see me again, and if I win he moves into Victor's Village. He said the odds were in his favor this year."

The looks on their faces when I look up from my truth are making me want to break down and cry.

"That's why, Jayson, if it comes down to the two of us, I want you to win." I say letting a single tear spill out of my big brown eye. He looks as if he is about to object, but I cut him off, "Don't even try to change my mind, and don't try to be a hero if it comes down to that. I already promised your mom that I'd do any and everything in my power to bring you back to her and you know I don't make promises I don't intend to keep. And plus I'll be perfectly fine knowing that I died trying to protect you. With that at least I'll be able to die happily."

"But I don't want to live if I can't love you." he injects.

"You're going to have to, for your family. Jayson they need you, especially Kylee she's going to need you to protect her, be her big brother." was my objection.

And with that I suggest we should all get some rest.

After tossing and turning I finally went to sleep, waiting for the first day of training.

**_A/N: Thank you for reading and just so you know TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAY and i would love to have reviews as presents that would make my birthday even more awesome. I hope you enjoyed and if you didn't please tell me anything to make this story better, and i didn't forget about my promise, your just gonna have to wait for the next chapter. ttyl_**


	3. Crime and Punishment

_**A/N: ok so this chapter is really long but I really hope you like it. Fore warning there is a scene that will make you think that I've changed the rating but I haven't this story is still rated t. And I want to thank IamCharliedaughterofPoseidon for the character Harlow and for all of her help and support.**_

* * *

"Maena, wake up it's going to be a very exciting day." Lania says as I blink awake.

"Ten more minutes, please?"

"No. Wake up Maena." She squeaks ripping the blankets away from my body.

"Ugh. Fine I'm up, I'm up."

"Good get cleaned up and come to breakfast." She says before her heels click out of my room.

My body aches restlessly as I stretch the stiffness away, I stand and slowly step to the bathroom, I brush my teeth, shower, and pull on my training clothes; black pants with a thick strip of light-grey outlined by a thin line of red racing down the side of each leg, the shirt matched except the fact that the red line was much thicker and my district number, four, was squared on each sleeve; they hugged me perfectly, rising and falling with every curve. The teeth of the zipper clench as I zip up the shiny black combat boots.

The second I open the door leading into the corridor, it hits me; the crisp pig's meat, the unfertilized chicken eggs cooking to a golden yellow, the buttery pancakes, and the sugary sweet syrup; the smells caress my nostrils. I am enchanted; I didn't even realize that I hadn't eaten since breakfast yesterday. Through the prepping, the parade, the pool, and the proclamation I didn't even care.

I reluctantly walk to breakfast dreading any talk about last night's conversation, but ecstatic to finally get some food in my stomach. I arrive and sit in the empty purple chair next to Jayson. As I sit he grabs hold of my chin and presses his lips against mine, my hand makes its way to the side of his training shirt and I latch onto it practically begging for more. The kiss would have continued if not for Lania, Annie, and Finnick watching us.

We break away and he whispers, "Good morning, Lovely."

"Good morning." I try to hide my smiling but it breaks free, as well as the millions of butterflies infesting my entire body.

"Do we not get good mornings?" Finnick interrupts.

"Good morning, Finnick." Jayson says sarcastically.

"That's better."

The entire table giggles, then we dig in, I take four pieces of bacon, three pancakes, two eggs and I sprinkle syrup over it all.

"So, let's talk about training first things first what weapons can you two handle? You have to be at least decent at some type of weapon; we are a career district aren't we?" Finnick asks.

"Spear and I'm almost as good as you with a trident. Oh and I'm not too shabby when it comes to swords." Jayson answers.

Annie flinches at the word sword, and then I remember.

_**The 67th Annual Hunger Games; Annie and her district partner, Gill, were working together they had made it to the last eight tributes along with both from 1, the boy from 2, the girl from 6, and both from 11. Gill and Annie had gone hunting in the mountainous arena once they were satisfied with their 3 rabbits; they cooked them and had begun talking about their lives back in District 4. Gill told about his mother and his little sister and brother, and about his best friend who was also his secret crush, he had kissed her and confessed his love once she came to say good bye to him. Annie told of her family as well and also of her boyfriend the Victor of the 62**__**nd**__** Hunger Games, Finnick Odair. But while they were conversing about happier times the tributes from 1 and the boy from 2 were tracking them by the huge plume of smoke that had risen from their fire. Once the others had tracked them Annie and Gill tried to put up a fight, but with a swift swing of District 2's sword, Gill's head was on the floor and his blood was showered onto Annie's face.**_

_**Annie had watched in horror but realizing that the fight was now 3 against one she ran, she ran as fast as her little legs could carry her, she ran for hours until she tripped over a rock, fell to the ground, and cried herself to sleep.**_

_**Annie had gone mad, experiencing that horrid death right before her eyes, who wouldn't. She survived alone until the final four, and then the Gamemakers wanted their big finale so they sent vigorous waves, knocking out everything in its path. Annie, being the only one who could swim, was crowned Victor soon after.**_

_**But even after her release from the arena she returned home, but her mind was still mad. The second the train stopped she leaped straight from the train and right into Finnick's longing arms. They held onto each other as if it was the last thing they would ever do, he stroked her hair again and again whispering something in her ear. It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen happen during the games. Even at nine, I could tell, this was love; real, true, pure, undeniable love.**_

When she flinches, Finnick wraps his arm around her waist and stands, bringing her up along with him, "It's alright. It's over. No one will ever hurt you again, not while I'm here." He mouths, 'I'll be right back." Then he leads her into the bedroom that they share.

"What did I say?" Jayson asks with an adorably innocent look on his face.

I explain to him what happened to Annie and once I finish Finnick returns alone. "What happened to Annie?"

"She's sleeping. So, what about you Maena?" Finnick continues.

"What were we talking about?"

"What weapons are you good with?" he asks.

"Um spears, knives, and I was just starting to learn bows and arrows in training before the Reaping, but I needed more time to perfect my aim."

"Yeah because she is literally perfect with spears and knives, she hasn't missed a single shot since she was 8." Jayson injects.

"How did you know that? I didn't even know you until I was like 10."

"I had my eye on you for a long time."

A smile creeps over my face and the butterflies go insane.

Finnick continues, "Ok, those weapons stay away from them in training. Ok? Save them for the private meeting with the Gamemakers."

"Can I work with the bow? Please." I beg.

"Fine, but once your aim is up to par get away from it."

I kiss my index and middle finger then hold them into the air, "Fishes honor."

* * *

Once breakfast is done Lania escorts Jayson and I to the training room; Lania surprises me, I expected every Capitol citizen to be obnoxious, loud, talkative, and hyperactive, but Lania is the complete opposite she's to herself, quiet, and calm. And I like that about her; once the doors open my eyes immediately make their way to the wall of weapons; swords, bows and arrows, masses, spears, knives, slingshots, and more as far as the eye can see; all made of all different materials from wood to plastic to metal to silver.

A whistle is blown and my attention goes straight to the woman in the middle of the room wearing a replica of our training uniforms, the only difference being that there is no district number on her sleeve and _**INSTRUCTOR **_is written on the front and back of her shirt.

"In 2 weeks 23 of you will be dead. One of you will be alive, who that is depends on how well you pay attention over the next five days, particularly to what I'm about to say.

First, no fighting with the other tributes, you'll have plenty of time for that in the arena. There are four compulsory exercises. The rest will be individual training. My advice is don't ignore the survival skills. Everybody wants to grab a sword, but most of you will die from natural causes. 10% from infection, 20% from dehydration. Exposure can kill as easily as a knife." And with that, she sends us off to start our training.

I turn to Jayson, "So, where do you want to go first?" He suggests the bow and arrow station and we walk there hand in hand.

I lift the bow up with my left arm, align the bow straight forward with my right eye, correct my stance, place the arrow upon its rest, hold the string with the index, middle, and ring fingers of my right hand and pull back, I aim and release the string.

My aim is at first off by about 4 circles as I can see but with the next 3 arrows I inch closer and closer to the bull's eye until I hit it. Once the arrow punctures the bull's eye I shortly smile but I don't get too excited, I repeat this procedure with the next 2 arrows and hit the bull's eye with both.

"Good job babe." Jayson says from his target next to me.

"Thank you."

I walk over to him and he takes my hand, "I'm really proud of you."

I smile, "Thank you, I'm proud of you to."

"Wow, you're good." Katniss says as she and Peeta approach us.

"Thanks, I'm a fast learner."

"Hey, its Maena right?" Peeta asks.

I nod, "Yep, and this is Jayson." Katniss notices that our hands are still clasped together, "Are you two dating?" her face is suddenly drowned in sadness as she questions us.

Again I nod. Katniss smiles, "Aw you guys are so cute, it sucks that you have to go through this."

"Yea," I say changing the subject, "So, do you guys want to go check out the agility obstacle course?" they all nod in agreement and we make our way to the course in silence.

_**INSERT LINE HERE **_

I climb to the highest platform with ease, the first round of knives, arrows, and spears are thrown by Avoxes, Capitol servants/traitors with no tongue, and I lean back allowing them to fly past me again and again, then I front flip off of that platform. The next platform is a little harder an Avox tries to whack me off the platform with a pugil stick, but I divert every attack and kick the stick out of the Avox's arms then jump to the next level. The last platform the Avoxes throw plastic knives, spears, and arrows at me repeatedly, as well as attack me with more pugil sticks. I fight off as much as I can until I did a twisting somersault to the floor. I don't know when, most likely on the third platform, but I go nicked on my right cheek and left elbow; and I finished the course in 45.2 seconds RECORD TIME! Applause fills the air as I walk back towards Jayson, Katniss, and Peeta.

"Wow! That was amazing! How did you learn to do all that?" Peeta exclaims.

"Tricks off of diving boards, and we played dodge ball sometimes after school."

Now it's Jayson's turn, but before he goes to the platforms he sneaks a kiss on my scratched cheek and winks his beautiful green-hazel eye, I can feel my dark skin burning with excitement.

He does as well as me, but an Avox gets him on the third platform and he falls on his back but he finishes with a strong backflip. Katniss doesn't get touched and she is on and off every platform two tenths of a second before my time, NEW RECORD!

"Ah, you beat me." I squeal with every ounce of false jealousy I could put into my voice.

"I can't help it, I'm just awesome." Is her sarcastic reply.

After her tremendous applause, it's Peeta's turn, he is sent on his back a couple times and gets caught by multiple knives and arrows but he still did pretty well to me. But not to the District 1 and 2 tributes, The Careers, they snicker loud enough for the whole room to hear.

This burns me inside, and not in a good way, "What are you laughing at? At least he has the balls to go up there and do something." I called back at them; that was dumb; with a sudden burst of courage.

The whole group looks to Cato from District 2, he must be this year's Career leader, he responds "Oh, is that supposed to hurt my feelings." he places his hand over his heart in fake pain, "Well I'm sorry, we didn't mean to laugh at your friend, ok?" his look turns serious as we walks closer to me, "Now, listen here 'Maena', you think you're so special because you made it through an obstacle course, well you're not, and if I were you I wouldn't want to piss off someone like me, ok?"

I glare back at him, "Is that supposed to scare me?"

In response he grabs a spear and throws it hitting the dummy on the complete opposite side of the room smack dab where its jugular would be, turns to me and growls, "Yes, yes it is."

I walk to the rack of spears, my fingers glide up the sleek silver frame and to the pointed tip. A barbarous smile makes its way onto my face, the same smile that appears on my face every time I caress a familiar weapon, a smile that comes with the feeling that the decision between someone's life and death is now in my hands. I've never killed anyone, but the power I feel knowing that I can overcomes me.

But before I can release the weapon from the rack a hand is gripping mine, Jayson.

"Don't, Finnick said to save it."

"Jays…"

"Maena, you heard what Finnick said. Save your anger for the arena."

Realizing he's right I let go of the spear, even though every fiber of my being is telling me to take it and plunge it right in Cato's pretty little face, but instead I walk back to face him again, fire incinerating in my eyes.

"Yeah, well it doesn't."

"It will."

* * *

DING! DONG! DING! DONG! A bell sounds, signaling the start of lunch. Jayson takes hold of my arm and begins dragging me away; my boiling chocolate eyes and his piercing turquoise eyes stay locked on each other until I am pulled through the door.

I angrily stab my chicken salad with my fork, my blood still pumping, my mind still fuming. I look over and see that the entire Career table is glaring at Katniss, Peeta, Jayson, and I.

"Take a picture, it'll last longer." This time it is Katniss's fire that burns the Careers.

"Why take a picture? You'll break my camera." Is the reply of the feisty dark haired and brown eyed girl from 2, Clove.

"Great it'll thank me for taking it out of its misery I'm sure being in possession of someone so ugly will make anything want to break." Katniss spits back, I try my best to stifle back my laughter but it breaks free into cackles.

"Don't start something you can't finish 12."

"Never do."

"We'll see."

"Yes we will."

Katniss smiles victoriously and turns back to our group, but Peeta's face is immersed in confusion, "Why did you do that, they can slaughter us the second we get into the arena?"

"Peeta, just relax ok? Trust me."

He nods. There is something in the way he looks at Katniss, something I've seen before, but it's something I can't remember.

Lunchtime ends, we find Lania, walk to the elevator and go up to our floor; I am so happy that there are elevators; I don't think my aching muscles can handle four flights of stairs.

* * *

Once we get off of the elevator we see Finnick and Annie snoozing in each other's arms in the living room, I tip toe to my room trying not to wake them up, Jayson meets me at my door, "May, can I ask you something?"

"Yeah, you can ask me anything."

"Why is it that you can't defend yourself against your dad but when you're against anyone else you're a shark?"

"Well, when I figure that out you'll be the first person to know." I kiss his cheek and go into my room. The second I step in the shower I am instantly pleased, the warm water relaxes my twinging muscles and the soap washes away the stinky sweat, grim, and dirt. When I step out of the shower I dry my dripping wet skin but instead of putting on underwear I place a tank top and dark jean shorts over a blue and black stripped swimsuit. I saunter into Jayson's room to find him lying on his bed.

"Hey."

"Hey, come lay down with me."

"Mmmmmm, ok." I slide underneath his sheets about two feet away from him; I look at him out of the corner of my eye and see him roll his gorgeous eyes just as he snakes his arm around my mid-section and pulls me into his arms. He chuckles as his lips make their way to my forehead. I can't help but smile every time he does this.

"Jayson, are you scared?" I turn to my side, facing him and he does the same.

"Scared of what, the Games?"

"Yeah."

"Well, yeah of course, but if I have to go through this with anyone, I'm glad I'm going through this with you."

"Aw, you're nice. But Jayson only one can walk out of the arena."

"I know, and it's going to be you."

"No! Jayson I already told you…"

"I don't give a damn about that promise you made my mom, you're going to walk out of that arena."

"It's not just about the promise; I made up my mind the second you volunteered. Before you volunteered I had something to come back to, something to live for, you. Without you I am nothing, have nothing."

"That's not true; you'll have Mom and Kylee. And you can get any guy to fall in love with you; you will move on, have babies and name them after me."

"Mmmm, Jayson Jr. I like that, but only if his father's name is Jayson Reynolds."

"Like you said, only one gets out."

"Yeah well, if you don't get out then neither do I, how's that?"

"Yeah, we'll see."

"I guess we will. Dude, all joking aside this sucks. Why did you have to volunteer?"

"I know it was stupid my mom already kicked my butt for volunteering when she came to say goodbye."

"Haha, that sounds like Celia."

"Yeah, just know whatever happens I'll never stop loving you."

"I love you too."

He kisses my forehead once more, but before he can completely lay his head back on his pillow I hook my fingers behind his neck and my thumb in front of his ear and pull him to my lips. I pull him even closer, deepening the kiss. He grabs my waist and hauls me even closer. We are so close; air cannot breeze through us; water cannot trickle between us; nothing can end this perfect moment. My tank top is being tugged and inched up closer to being released from my torso. Inch, inch, inch. I grind my hips against his and he flips, lying on top of me, I grind my hips again latching onto his t-shirt, lifting it up. Without taking his lips off of mine he sits up dragging me with him, I raise his shirt up more until it is off of his chiseled body, and he does the same to me, and he lies back down on top of me, his hands leisurely gliding up and down my sides. We have been kissing for what feels like forever; a magnificent, glorious, heavenly forever; I want this to last beyond forever I want this to last for all eternity.

"Jayson, have you seen…Really?! You guys are doing this AGAIN? I'm going to have to get you two neutered. Maena, get up and get cleaned up for dinner. Right now." Lania bursts into the room interrupting my personal heaven, our lips separate and he reluctantly gets off of me, I shoot the covers over my head, failing in my attempt to hide from Lania.

"Maena, GET UP!"

I slide out of Jayson's bed and begin walking to my sun touched room.

"May." Jayson catches my attention.

"Yeah?"

He throws my shirt at me and I catch it, but not before it hits me in the face.

"You forgot this." He smiles and I return it with a blush.

I stay in my room, on my bed, reminiscing back to the superb event that just happened. The sun's brilliance has faded; I must have been in my room for a couple hours. Soon there is a knock at my door, "Maena come to dinner." Jayson says behind the door. My stomach rumbles loudly in response, I hear him chuckle as I hop up and open the door.

"Hey maybe later we can continue our little chat after dinner." Jayson says before he pecks his lips against my nose.

"I'd like that." I reply kissing his cheek.

Considering the earlier event of today it is very ironic that the only seats available once Jayson and I arrive is the two to the right of Lania, across the table are Finnick and Annie. "So, how was training?" Finnick starts the conversation as I take in the hair-like strands of yellow pasta covered in slippery red sauce.

"It was fine I got my bow and arrow aim down, but I'm still going to work on it some more tomorrow. And I kicked butt on the agility obstacle course."

"Good and how'd it go for you Jayson?"

"I did ok on the bow as well, I didn't do too bad on the course, and I broke up a fight. Well an almost fight."

I stare at him and mouth 'REALLY.'

"Who almost got into a fight?" Annie questions.

Jayson looks my way and Finnick, Annie, and Lania's eyes do the same. I look behind me, trying to figure out what they're staring at until I realize, _**OOOOO they're staring at me.**_ I gradually turn my head, meet their gazes, and smile sheepishly.

"Maena, what happened?" Finnick basically growls.

"Um, see what had happened was…"

"Maena. Tell me what happened, RIGHT NOW!" Finnick blurts.

I sigh, "Ok. So Peeta, the boy from 12, was on the agility course and he fell and got hit a couple times. And a couple of tributes were laughing at him and it pissed me off so I told off one of the guys then he threw a spear and said I should be scared then I was going to throw a spear to shut him up, but Jayson stopped me. Wow this pasta is AMAZING!" I say in one breath before taking in a mouthful of the noodles.

"What district was the boy from?"

I scratch the back of my neck look around the room and whisper, "2."

"What! Maena, picking a fight with Cato was the dumbest thing you could have done, if he's anything like his mentors, Brutus and Enobaria, he'll kill you before you can cry out for your mommy."

With that I loose me appetite and storm off into my room; before I close the door to my room I hear Finnick ask, "What did I say?" and Jayson's response, "Her mom died the day she was born, so that's kind of a touchy topic for her." I gently close the door and go under my covers.

I hear the door hinges creak; I turn to see Finnick standing in the door frame gazing towards me with a sympathetic expression written on his face.

"Maena, I'm sorry I didn't know about your mom, I'm sorry."

"Stop apologizing, there's nothing you can or could have done."

"I know, but I shouldn't have said what I said."

"But you were right, Cato could kill me in a second, I just got mad."

"Yeah, can I sit?"

I rise, now sitting up with my back on the headboard and I criss-cross my legs in front of me, making room for Finnick on the side of my bed.

"Maena, I honestly didn't mean to hurt you, and I'm so sorry that I did."

"Fin, stop apologizing, I forgave you before you opened the door."

He smiles, mischief replacing his sympathy. "Hey Maena, did you know that a blue fish's scales reflect sunlight north?"

"Huh?"

"And a red fish, there scales reflect west."

"What are you talking about?"

"The _green_ fish, they reflect _east_."

I begin to realize that he's speaking in code; blue for north, red for west, green for east.

"And let me guess, the purple fish reflect south?" I ask.

"No, yellow fish reflect south, a purple fish's scales reflection turns."

"Oh."

"Yeah, ok well I guess I should let you get some sleep, it looks like you've had a hard day."

He stands, and saunters out of my room.

I lay in the deafening silence awaiting a sleep that hopefully is either filled with peaceful dreams or no dreams at all.

But boy am I wrong. I am revisited by my nightmares, but this is different, this is more than a nightmare, this is a memory.

_**"Hey dad, can I go hang out with Kylee?" **_

_**"Who the hell is Kylee?"**_

_**"Jayson's little sister, she asked me if I could spend the night with her, you know hang out and stuff. So can I go?" hope gleaming in my eyes.**_

_**"No."**_

_**"Please."**_

_**And that's when I notice the empty bottle of Whisky in his hand, and I know this whole conversation is a mistake, I back up to the stairs as he gets out of his chair. I try to run upstairs but he catches up with me very quickly, he pushes me down, my forehead bouncing off of the edge of a step. I instantly feel the blood cascading down my forehead. He spins me around and starts beating me, now my back is ricocheting against the stairs with each blow.**_

_**He gets off of me but I am in too much pain to move. But this time he grabs a rope and starts choking me with it, then with the rope still wrapped around my collar he lets me breathe and he begins walking up to the top of stairs and to the miniature wall that overlooks the staircase and pulls the rope with all his might, nearly choking me to death.**_

I awake with a gasp tears racing down my face. My hands drift to the invisible marks on my neck left by my memories, "It's over. He's gone. He can't hurt you anymore." I cry to myself. My brain touches my skull every couple seconds, my blood is pounding in my veins, my skin is burning, and every inch of being is aching.

I walk to the kitchen and drink a glass of icy water, and with my glass I walk to the living room and my eye catches a dark umber book underneath the coffee table, _**DISTRICT FOUR VICTORS**_ is printed on the front. On the front of each page is a single picture and on the back is a disc, I flip page after page and I am shell-shocked once I come to the Victor of the 49th Hunger Games. Upon the picture I am thrown back to my first nightmare. _**'I get up and see that there is another pair of eyes, those big, brown, comatose eyes struck the most fear in my heart.'**_

_**Alexis Maena Ludwig**_

Brown eyes that could easily be mistaken for mine, a smile that can brighten even the darkest of days; I stare at the picture, completely still; tears that I thought had dried drift down my face and into my lap. I stay like this for hours, until the sun starts peek into the horizon.

I am silent. I can say nothing, do nothing, but stare at the picture; I begin to piece together the puzzle.

* * *

"Maena? Maena? Maena!" Finnick yells catching my attention.

"Yea?"

"What are you looking at?" I inch the book closer to him, not taking my eyes off of Alexa, "Wow she's really pretty. And she looks a lot like… oh Maena, is this you're..."

"Yea, that's my mother. I never knew she was in the Games let alone Victor." I cut him off.

I didn't notice Annie behind us until she spoke, "You look just like her. Same eyes, hair, nose, you two even have the same smile."

Salty tears dance down my face, followed by a bright, rejuvenating smile. I stare at the photo more and notice something around my mother's neck that I had missed, a shell swirled again and again to form a perfect circle, its color bright red in the center and fading to a pale pink with every swirl. I take off my necklace and place it next to the picture.

"That's your mom's necklace, who gave that to you, your dad?" Annie asked.

I shake my head, "He didn't even realize I had it, if he did he probably would have taken it. Jayson's mom, Celia, she gave it to me. Her and my mom were best friends. Why did she never tell me that my mom was a Victor?"

I can hear Lania's heels click in with Jayson tailing her, "Oh, Maena, that's where you were, I was beginning to get worried." I wipe my face and put the book back on under the table and head to the table for breakfast. I put my necklace back on and begin to eat. I stare at the table cloth while nibbling at my french toast, sausage, bacon, and eggs. Thinking of nothing but the picture, the first picture I had ever seen of my mother.

"What about you Maena?" Lania says.

"What?" I reply snapping my neck to face her.

"Are you excited for training today?"

"Yea, I guess."

Jayson injects, "Are you ok? You seem distracted."

"No, I'm fine; can I go get dressed now? Excuse me." and with that I go to my room, get dressed, and meet Lania and Jayson at the elevator, and we walk to training in silence.

We meet up with Katniss and Peeta at the knot tying station the instructor shows us a couple basic snares and traps after about half an hour and 15 traps, we split up, I go with Katniss to show her the ways of the spear and Jayson goes with Peeta to help him learn some basic sword forms.

"Ok, so here's what you're going to want to do, hold the spear as if it's a giant pencil, but hold it loosely. Slightly face sideways from the target with your spear hand farthest back." I pause, checking if she is following correctly. But she isn't the only one following my instructions.

Curly scarlet hair flowing past her shoulder blades, emerald-green eyes trying to hide their curiosity, 8 squared on her sleeves.

Katniss notices my overdue pause and looks at me; I turn her attention to the District 8 girl,"Hey, who's the ginger?" she nearly yells. The District 8 girl quickly turns her head as we snicker, she drops the spear with tears in her eyes and begins to walk off.

"Hey, I was just kidding. I'm sorry." Katniss apologizes.

"It's ok, sorry for crying I've just been really emotional lately." District 8 replies.

"Who could blame you, what's your name?" I ask.

"Harlow. Harlow Flynn, from District 8."

"Well, nice to meet you Harlow, I'm Maena St. Clair from District 4."

"Katniss Everdeen from 12."

"So Harlow, would you like to train with us?" I ask.

"Sure."

"Ok, from the top hold it loosely like a huge pencil, face sideways from the target with spear hand farthest back, that's as far as we got right?"

They nod.

"Kay so now put the opposing foot of your spear hand in front of the other, but keep both feet a shoulder's length apart. Bend your knees a little, side-step forward a couple times, but keep your knees bent. Then unbend your knees, with your hips you're going to twist forward and throw the spear at the same time, then do this until you're comfortable with the spear and you have a decent aim ratio."

After what feels like 15 minutes Katniss and Harlow are happy with their spearing they decide they've had enough, "So what now?" Harlow questions.

I feel strong arms coil around me, "Now it's time for you to hang out with your favorite male tributes." Jayson says.

I gasp, "Finnick is here?"

"Ah, funny." He reaches down and kisses my cheek.

"Aw, how cute." Katniss mocks.

"Whatever, hey I wanna go shoot some arrows before lunch."

"Sure let's go. Hey Harlow do you want to come with us?"

"Um, thanks but I think I'll go to one of the survival stations."

"Ok, but you should eat lunch with us."

"Yeah. Sure. Definitely."

"Mmk, later." I implant.

After Katniss and I shoot a couple arrows it's lunch time, and we learn more about each other. We whisper to each other what we are best at; Jayson and I go first then Peeta reveals that Katniss is a master with a bow (as if I didn't already know), then Katniss retorts saying Peeta is the strongest person she'd ever met, and Harlow finished saying she is an ace throwing knives and daggers; then we tell stories.

Lunch ends and so do our stories, Finnick makes his way towards the doors of the cafeteria, "Where's Lania?" I ask.

"Am I not good enough to escort two children back to their rooms?"

"No." Jayson and I say simultaneously.

Finnick gets behind us, wraps his arms around each of our necks and begins walking us of to our floor. I turn my head back to Katniss, Peeta, and Harlow, "See you guys tomorrow."

That night Jayson, Finnick, Annie, Lania, Alexander, and Jayson's stylist Isabelle just relax in the pool for the rest of the day until it's time for dinner, then we all go to bed awaiting the next day of training.

The next day, Jayson and I meet up with Harlow, Katniss, and Peeta, we go to a couple survival stations, practice with any weapon that isn't our specialty, (Katniss stays away from the bow, Peeta keeps away from anything heavy, Jayson avoids spears, tridents, and swords, I avert spears and knives and I limit my bow time, and Harlow steers-clear of daggers and knives) and if we have extra time we rock climb, swim, or run the obstacle course. It is the same routine for two days, Career- drama non-existent we steer clear of them and they do the same. But things change on the last day of training.

* * *

Once we arrive we are told that instead of going to the different stations we are to meet the instructor on a huge mat. Jayson and I find our way to the mat and are met by Harlow, Katniss, and Peeta.

"Welcome tributes, today you will be participating in hand to hand combat. I will choose one person to walk onto the mat and any tribute can challenge them to a match, but they cannot be challenged by their district partner, and once you have fought you may not volunteer until everyone has fought. And keep in mind that winning will reflect well on your total training score which could help you in the arena. Ok, so the first tribute will be... Ashleigh Crump, District 7."

Ashleigh steps onto the mat. Without hesitation the girl from District 1, Glimmer, steps up, but before she reaches the mat she looks back at Cato with a flirtatious smile and he returns it with an annoyed and uninterested expression. Ashleigh grabs Glimmer's hair and begins dragging her to the center of the mat saying, "Come on Glimmer, let's just get this over with." Glimmer strived to fight but, Ashleigh swiftly sent her leg to Glimmer's temple rending her momentarily unconscious and places her boot on top of her mid-section while the instructor counts to three.

"Well, that was fast, so up next... Katniss Everdeen, District 12." I take one step towards the mat but Clove runs onto the mat before I have the chance. "Get her Clove!" her district partner yells, she turns and sends him a smirk in response. As she turns back Katniss sends her combat boot into Clove's abdomen, Clove returns with a punch in her face. Katniss tackles her to the ground punching her and pulling her hair; I can't help but smile at the Career getting hammered. But my smile deteriorates as Clove takes dominance of the brawl. After going back and forth, the instructor declares the match a draw. Katniss comes back to us with unbraided and tangled hair and scratches and bruises on her face and arms. "You did really good." I say giving her a high five.

The next few matches fly by the District 5 boy pins the District 3 boy in a matter of minutes, the District 3 girl attempts to avenge her partner's loss with the District 5 girl, Janely, but fails in a couple seconds.

The boy from District 7 destroys the little pinprick from 6.

"Up next is Marvel Richards." the instructor reads. The boy from one walks to the mat with no fear, until he sees the second biggest tribute, Thresh from 11, walks up with no emotion on his face. Marvel's face then only occupies one emotion, fear. Their fight, much like Clove and Katniss's, is a series of punches, kicks, and battles for dominance, but eventually Thresh holds Marvel down for the 1...2...3.

The Harlow defeats the girl from 6 in less than two minutes.

The boy from 9 creams the boy from 10, but the girls were the opposite.

Jayson massacres the frail boy from 8 in a matter of seconds.

"Rue Stenberg, your next." the little girl from 11 walked to the mat. I begin to make my way, but Peeta holds me back.

"Let me." He walks up to Rue, her beautiful auburn eyes fill with a terror that soon fades as Peeta says, "It's ok, you're going to be fine." Peeta gets down on his back allowing Rue to reluctantly get the win.

"Why did you do that?" Katniss asks the second Peeta rejoins us.

"For one she needs as much credit for her training score as she can get and Haymitch told us not to reveal our strengths."

"That was stupid, now the Gamemakers are going to look at you like the 16 year old boy that got beat by little 12 year old girl."

"Would you not do the same? If it were Prim instead of her wouldn't you want someone to help her as much as they could? She's just a little girl she doesn't deserve to be here, she needs all the help she can get."

"I didn't think of it that way, I'm sorry. That was a really sweet thing for you to do."

"I know."

That earns a chuckle out of Katniss; Peeta's look is back, the one I've seen before. Where have I seen that look?

The instructor announces the final match, "Ok, Maena and Cato, since you two are the only two who haven't fought you will battle each other."

Out of the corner of my eye I see Peeta's face flush with guilt, "Maena, I'm sorry."

"You have nothing to be sorry about."

I turn and grab Jayson's face, "You have to promise not to interfere, ok? Promise me, right now."

"I promise." I kissed him gently, and then I gingerly tread towards the mat.

"Aw, you got to kiss your boyfriend for good luck." Cato mocks.

"Jealous?"

"You wish."

"Yea, sure I do."

We circle around each other for a few seconds, waiting for the other to make the first move, I guess Cato got impatient. Making our way into our 3rd circle he swings, aiming for my face, I drift my entire torso down and hit his side with side of my hand, but I step back trying to hide my pain, his body must be made of metal or stone because I think I may have broken my pinkie. He chuckles swinging again and this time he indeed impacted his target, and I am sent to the floor.

I taste the salty, coppery blood dripping into my mouth; I writhe around in pain gasping, wheezing, and coughing. He grabs my shirt and lifts me with no effort and drops me down just as fast, his boot collides with my ribcage and I feel every breath of air escape my entire body. When he's done kicking me he lifts me up again by my hair and drags me to a wall where I am again lifted, by my neck and any air that returned to my bruised body is leaving again. I try to kick him but every attempt is thwarted by his rock-hard bod.

"Are you scared now?!" then he notices my necklace, "Nice necklace I think I'll give it to my mother when I get home."

He coils his hand around my necklace, the only thing I have of my mother's, and I go demented. My saliva connects with his face and as he goes to wipe it off he foolishly loosens his grip around my neck, I force his hand away and kick his foot out from under him, and he lands on his face with a thud. I get on top of him and punch him again and again and again, "Don't EVER touch my necklace you arrogant piece of crap."

He flips our positions, and with him being on top he begins pummeling me again. I block attacks as best as I can, but I can already feel my eye swelling. His punches make my father's feel like mosquito bites, each impact bringing what feels like either bruised skin or bruised bone. I have no idea how, but I regain control, I stand and begin kicking him repetitively.

He makes a sound between a cough and a whistle and before I even realize what's going on I am being thrown to the mat and jumped by Clove, Ashleigh, and Glimmer. Jayson pulls Ashleigh away; Peeta claws Glimmer off of me; and Katniss seizes Clove and they continue their battle. Once I regain my composure I charge for Cato, who has recovered to his feet, and punch him once, "Really you need your little groupies to take me out, looks like you're the one that's scared Cato."

It is total mayhem, Katniss is fighting Clove, Jayson is trying to control Ashleigh, Peeta lost Glimmer and now she is attacking me. I push Glimmer off just in time to see Ashleigh slap Jayson. Every fiber of my being is set to flames; I take her to the floor I smack and punch her again and again. Cato pulls me off of Ashleigh and to the floor. Jayson storms Cato, and they get into it a couple feet away from Ashleigh and I's restarting battle.

Soon Peacekeepers are lifting me up, they break away every fight, and they take me, Katniss, Clove, Ashleigh, Glimmer, Jayson, Peeta, and Cato away, before we are completely out of the room I look back towards the circle of tributes, everyone is standing in the same position as before, I see Harlow's face flabbergasted with tears cascading down her right eye. The Peacekeepers take us to a white and glass room with a crystal clear glass desk is at the head of the room and three rows with 4 rows of white chairs in each row, Katniss, Peeta, Jayson and I take the 1st row while Cato, Clove, Ashleigh, and Glimmer take the 3rd row.

My left eye is swelling, and bruises and blood cover me body; Katniss has a bruise on her forehead and her lip is bleeding; Jayson has a red mark on his right cheek; and Peeta has a scratch from his far corner of his right eye all the way down to his lip.

The Head Gamemaker, Seneca Crane, enters the room followed by two Peacekeepers. He sits at the desk with a Peacekeeper on either side. "I don't care what happened; all I care about is the fact that the eight of you broke the only rule of training. And as for your punishment…five lashes. Who wants to go first?"

This is so stupid! If the dip-wad hadn't called his little hookers we wouldn't be in this mess, now I'm going to get whipped because he can't accept that a girl half his size was beating him up.

I stand. "What are you doing?" Jayson whispers.

"I might as well just get it over with."

The two Peacekeepers each grab hold of one of my arms, before the pain comes I glare at Cato _**this is all your fault**_ is written across my forehead as the seven of them watch Seneca take a whip out of his desk drawer; my body tenses and my breath quickens.

I hear the air separate, making room for the weapon; I am forced to hold back a scream as the whip makes contact with my back, I am grateful that my shirt is still on, even though it doesn't mask the pain fully it holds some of the impact, the wounds aren't as deep as they would be without it. But with each crack of Seneca's whip it tears away the protecting fabric; I feel the wounds getting deeper, I wouldn't be surprised if I had lacerations on my bones.

I look away not wanting to show my tears, I bite my lip to muffle my screams; I look out of the corner of my eye and see that Jayson has a single solitary tear running down his face. When my punishment is over the Peacekeepers release my hands and that very second I collapse to the floor. My back feels as if it has been set on fire, I close my eyes hoping this is a nightmare a very painful nightmare that Jayson will wake me up from, I want him to hold me in his lap while calming my tears, I want him to whisper to me that he loves me, I just want this to be over.

"Take her to the infirmary and call all of their mentors to come when they are ready to go back to their floors." Seneca says to the Peacekeepers. The Peacekeeper that held my right arm hoists me over his shoulder, I catch a blurry glimpse a pool of red on the white floors.

_**Is that my blood?**_ I touch my hand to my scorching back and wince at the contact, as I bring my hand to my face I inspect the blood covering every spot of my palm along with a few pieces of meat. The blur in my eyes turns to darkness, and it envelopes the entire room.

* * *

I wake up in another white room on a hospital bed, my the flames on my back have been extinguished; I look around and see him, next to me those green-hazel eyes stare at me with joy, worry, and pain. "Jayson, are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, are you alright?"

"Yeah, what happened?"

"You blacked out; you saw your blood and passed out. I stood as the Peacekeeper took you away then I got my lashes."

"I'm sorry. This is my fault; I just lost control when he said he would take my necklace."

"This is nowhere near your fault; if anyone is to blame it's that punk Cato."

The door swings open; Finnick and Annie run to our bedsides, "Oh my gosh are you two alright?" Annie cries. We both nod.

"Would you mind telling me what happened?" Finnick says looking directly at me.

"I was fighting Cato in hand in hand combat then…"

"Oh I know what happened!"

"Then why did you ask?"

"Don't get snippy with me young lady!"

"I'm…sorry?"

"Do you guys realize what this means, now you have to go to the private lessons tomorrow injured, that can really damage your scores and sponsors only sponsor generously to high scores."

Well, tomorrow will be interesting.

_**A/N: Hope you enjoyed I told you I keep my promises and I promise that it will get even better. ttyl**_


	4. Spitting Image

_**A/N: HEY GUYS IM SSSOOO SORRY IT TOOK ME FOREVER TO UPDATE AND I PROMISE THAT IT WONT HAPPEN AGAIN AND TO PROVE IM SORRY I PUT A LITTLE GAME IN THIS CHAPTER...HIDDEN IN THIS CHAPTER IS A QUOTE FROM A MOVIE (not the Hunger Games) AND THE FIRST PERSON TO FIND THIS QUOTE WILL BE TOLD A SECRET INVOLVING THIS STORY...SO LET THE GAMES BEGIN**_

_**DISCLAIMER:**_

_**I DO NOT OWN THE HUNGER GAMES IT CAME FROM THE AMAZING MIND OF SUZANNE COLLINS SO THANK HER**_

* * *

I awake shocked to find myself back in my bed; they must have transported me while I was knocked out; I quickly swing my legs over the side of the bed, BIG MISTAKE, I hold back a scream as the unimaginable pain engulfs my body. I slowly stand from my bed and limp to breakfast without even thinking about changing, once I arrive to the table I sit in between Jayson and Lania. "Why am I always the last one to the table?"

"Because you sleep too much, you always have." Jayson states, before he kisses my cheek, I smile as my heart skips a beat. I wince with every movement, every breath, every pump of my beating heart; each bringing a wave of pain from the tip of my cranium to the soles of my feet; and I see that Jayson does the same.

"So are you two ready for the private sessions?" Finnick asks.

"No, not really." I say gently rubbing my wounded back.

"Me neither." Jayson says as well.

"Why not? If you guys are as good with weapons as you say you are then you should do just fine."

"Dude, have you ever been whipped?" I nearly scream.

"No, because I was never stupid enough to get into a fight during training."

"It wasn't our fault Finnick; if you want to blame anyone blame that little punk Cato, all of this is his fault. HE couldn't fight me; HE had to call his little whores to jump us." I stand and show them all my bandaged yet bloody back, "This, this is HIS fault."

Lania gasps and turns away, disgusted by my grotesque back.

"Maena, that's why they invented this new thing called…wait for it…medicine." Finnick continues.

"Well hand it over."

"Hold your fishes little one, Annie and I have to apply it to you guy's backs right before we leave so it can last until you're finished with your sessions, but just know that when it wears off you will feel every sting of pain you would feel as if you didn't use the medicine but the pain will be twice as worse."

"Then we shouldn't take it."

"Why the hell not?" Jayson retorts.

"Because, I don't want to have my pain be any more intense than it needs to be and besides wouldn't it be more impressive to the Gamemakers if we perform well while were in pain?"

"You've got a point Maena." Annie commentates.

"No she doesn't." he spits out, "Maena we have to take it."

"No."

"May, what if we're in too much pain to perform well and we get bad scores, what will we do then, huh?"

"Jayson we'll be fine. Just fight through the pain, ok, trust me."

"I do trust you; it's the wounds I don't trust."

"I'm not a baby Jayson."

"I already told you you're my baby, and I say you're taking that medicine."

"Jayson why take it if we're going to be in more pain then we would be without it?" I can sense him backing down, admitting defeat, and I can't help but smirking victoriously.

"You got a feisty one there Jayson." Finnick states.

"Don't I know it?"

"You know that's why you love me." I incline.

Jayson repeats my words in a mocking tone. Everyone scarfs down their breakfast and we go off to get changed. Tears are pooled all around my feet as I dress myself, the tears on the back of my shirt still remain, after the painful dressing I meet Jayson and Lania at the elevator, "Are you two ready?" Lania asks with that ever so cheerful accent.

* * *

'Glimmer Rose District 1' the computer generated voice spoke the name of the first tribute to see the Gamemakers for private lessons. Glimmer stood and began to walk into the training room swaying her hips in a highly ostentatious manner. I sit with Jayson, Katniss, Peeta, and Harlow at a table; "What did they do to you guys, you know after the fight?" Harlow asks.

"Five lashes." Katniss says boldly.

"Wow, that's harsh, look I'm sorry I wasn't there yesterday I was just too shocked to move, you know, everything just happened so fast."

"No it's fine it was stupid any way it never should have happened." I say.

"Yeah, what happened, to get you that angry I mean?"

"He um… Cato tried to take my necklace; it was my mother's the only thing I have of her's."

"Yeah, I know what you mean; he still has my mom's bracelet."

"What?" Katniss, Jayson, Peeta, and I simultaneously say. I turn my head but as I arise Cato is called into the training room, he looks at me and stretches his back, pain free, 'He took the medicine' I think. I roll my eyes and sit back down.

"What do you mean he still has your mom's bracelet?" I nearly yell.

"He took it; he said if I wanted it back I had to join their alliance, but I said no."

"When did he take it?"

"The first day of training, I was working with daggers and he saw me. The bracelet was loose so he was able to just slip it off." Tears begin to well in her eyes.

"Don't cry Harlow; were you and your mom close?"

"No, she died a couple days after I was born; her mom gave it to her, so before she died she told my dad to give it to me when the time was right, and I guess there's no better time than the Hunger Games."

"We'll get your bracelet back."

"No it's fine I'll take care of it."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, so are you guys nervous, I know I am." Harlow quickly changes the subject.

"I guess, but I have to ask are the 5 of us going to be allies or what?" Katniss inquires.

"I thought that was obvious." Jayson states.

'Maena St. Clair District 4'

"Did anyone else not hear the District 3 tributes?" I ask; we all share a quick chuckle. I stand too quickly, the pain briefly showing in my un-medicated eyes.

"Hey, before you leave," Jayson says before clutching my chin and poking his lips against mine, "Good luck."

I kiss him again, "Thanks you to. And you guys should really come; we can hang out in the pool."

"I'm there!" Katniss replies immediately.

I smile and limp into the training room.

* * *

Seneca Crane sits in the front row of the scattered seats. I make eye contact with him and it brings fresh pain to my body as I relive his lashings in the back of my mind, oh gosh, why didn't I take that medicine.

"Maena St. Clair, District 4." I announce.

Seneca nods his head signaling me to continue.

I walk to the knives I grab hold of a leather hilt and without any hesitation I turn and throw it at a rubber dummy about 50 feet away; on the complete opposite side of the training room in the bow and arrow section; in the neck, more specifically the jugular, _**FATALITY**_. I hear gasps from the Gamemakers as I jog towards the spears, pain bombarding throughout my entire body with every step, _**endure it, embrace it, let it fuel you,**_ I think. I throw I few spears with 100% accuracy before I head to the bows, I miss the first shot but make it up with two fatal blows.

I realize time is running short, so I climb the agility obstacle course for my finale, as usual the first platform is a breeze I dodge the fake weapons as if they were nothing and jump to the next one. I bypass the pugil sticks only to have my legs taken out from under me and I am sent straight to my back. I let out a short, searing cry of pain; my body goes numb and my vision goes slightly blurry. I really should have taken that medicine. The Avoxes freeze; I slowly make my way to my feet and to the third platform, the plastic weapons are easily deflected and I snatch a pugil stick from a brown haired blue-eyed Avox the pain rushing through my veins pounded through my brain and memories of every pain I have ever felt came along with every collision. My father's black hair and brown eyes replaced the Avox's. Sixteen years, sixteen years of fear and anger filled my body, sixteen years of pain and suffering, sixteen years of hatred; and with the pugil stick in my hands I connected it with his face.

I back tucked off of the platform and turned to face the Gamemakers, "Thank you."

* * *

"So how was it?" "Did you do well?" "Well, don't just stand there, tell us what happened." Finnick, Annie, Lania, Alexander, and Jayson's stylist Nalani harass me with questions the second I step off the elevator.

I give them a play-by-play of the training session. They congratulate me then I hear the notorious voice of Caesar Flickerman, _**"Ladies and Gentlemen from District 4, Alexa Ludwig."**_ My face goes blank as I make my way past them to the living room.

Tears well in my eyes as I see my mother, in her magnificent glory; ocean-blue silk wrapped around her neck and then clinging to every inch of her torso and stopping at her waist only to have sheer linen puff out to the floor, purple ankle boots concealing her feet and lifting her about 6 inches; Caesar raises her arm and sends her backstage.

("Oh, that's Alexa Ludwig, she was one of my favorite tributes, went on to be a victor that one. I haven't spoken to her in years; I wonder how she's doing?" Alexander spoke.

"You were her stylist?"

"Yeah, we were really close, that was a beautiful little girl. You would have loved her; she was a lot like you, shame what happened to her."

"What do you mean?'

"She died, about 16 years ago, she was in labor and something went wrong, neither her nor the baby made it."

"Who told you that?"

"Her husband of course."

"Yea, well her husband is a lier."

"Maena, that's rude, Alexa was one of my best friends. How dare you talk like that about her husband."

"Because her HUSBAND is my father, so I think I'd know if he was lying about me being born or not. Alexa my mother; she died giving birth to me. I am named after her, so don't tell me that I'm being rude when I''m telling the truth.")

"Oh, Maena I'm s–"

"Don't apologize; I'm sick of everyone apologizing." My voice breaks as I speak.

The elevator doors open and Jayson walks in with a smile on his face, "Hey, how'd you do?" I take my eyes away and walk in his direction.

"Awesome, I did 100 with spears knives and tridents, I murdered some dummies with a…you know…" I knew he didn't want Annie to freak out again from the word sword, "And that's about it. Hey May, did you already ask Finnick?"

"Ask Finnick what? What do the little guppies have to ask the shark?" Finnick mocks.

"Can we have a couple friends over tomorrow?

"Sure, what district?"

"Both from 12 and the girl from 8, right May?"

I hear him but my attention is refocused on the TV screen.

'_**Let the 49th Annual Hunger Games Begin'**_ Claudius Templesmith's voice boomed in the rubbly ruins of the arena.

"May?" Jayson places his hand on my shoulder; I cover his hand and lead him back into the living room.

"Watch."

"What am I watching?"

'_**30'**_

"Just watch."

'_**20'**_

The camera zooms in on my mom's face; I coil my fingers around her necklace and squeeze the shell until my fingers stiffen. I sit, bringing Jayson down along with me. He notices the necklace, "That's your mom." I nod. "She's beautiful; I finally see where you get it from." I faintly smile at his words before he kisses my forehead.

'_**10'**_

'_**9'**_

'_**8'**_

'_**7'**_

'_**6'**_

'_**5'**_

'_**4'**_

'_**3'**_

'_**2'**_

'_**1'**_

_**And they're off sprinting towards the Cornucopia my mother grabs only one sword and with it she slits the jugular of a boy and slices through the chest of a small girl, blood drips down her face, accentuating her auburn eyes making them look even more beautiful than they already were.**_

_**The ruble stained crimson, the ruins sprinkled with nine bodies, only three people remained at the Cornucopia, my mother a boy a little smaller than Cato and a boy about the same size as Finnick, the rest ran into or away from the ruined city.**_

_**The rest of the video went quite fast; mom kills a total of 7 people; the boy smaller than Cato, also from District 2, kills 4; and the boy about Finnick's size, mom's district partner, kills only 1.**_

_**Once the three of them are the only ones left the video slows. Blood splatters from the neck of the District 4 boy as the boy from 2 breaches his flesh. Alexa gasps as he grabs her by the neck and throws her down into the ruble. She struggles and starts to fade but before she goes completely unconscious she clasps a brick in her hand and bashes District 2's head in. Tears stream down her face as she realizes the outcome of her actions. My mother, Alexa Maena Ludwig, has become a Victor.**_

The video cuts back to Caesar Flickerman, _**"Welcome ladies and gentlemen to the 47th Annual Hunger Games Victor Special."**_ He says with his sparkling bright red hair, clothes, and accessories shining in the lights, _**"Please welcome this year's Victor. Alexa Maena Ludwig!"**_

She comes out wearing sea-green silk surrounding her breasts, diamonds course against the bottom of the silk, then purple silk balloons out to about four inches above her knees, and shiny black six inch stilettos brace her feet with her purple toenails peep out of the front of her shoes.

Caesar takes and kisses her right hand then leads her down to the cushioned chair beside him, _**"Alexa,congradulations. So how does it feel being a Victor? The last time I saw you, you were smiling, but now you're glowing."**_

"_**It feels amazing, I'm so excited, I can't wait to go home and see my family-" Alexa begins.**_

"_**And that ever so lucky boyfriend of yours, I bet he misses you, huh?"**_

"_**Ha-ha, yeah I miss him to."**_

Boyfriend, is she talking about? No, it can't be.

Caesar asks a few more questions and mom answers good-naturedly with a continuous smile. Once the interview is over the screen cuts back to a place I'd know even if every one of my senses were disabled, District Four. An announcer who's voice I could only guess belonged to that of Mayor Triton standing on the Town Square stage, _**"Ladies and Gentlemen we are awaiting the arrival of our very own Alexa Ludwig!"**_ the Square erupts with applause, the camera floats to a woman with dark curls and hazel eyes.

"Mom?" Jayson asks.

"Yeah, they were best friends, practically sisters."

A silver train snakes its way behind the Justice Building, a few minutes later, the Justice Building doors swing open and out walks my mother bathed in beauty and showered in glory. She is clothed in skintight jeans, a white shirt that bloats out on each arm and her torso only to be tied around her waist and wrists, and black wedged ankle boots. _**The second she walks through the doors she is engulfed in the arms of a middle aged man and woman, the camera catches a few words, "Mom, Dad, I missed you so much." She says into her father's shirt.**_ Her parents pet her hair and her back together, they release her embrace and each kiss her cheek, she turns and is drowned in the arms of a man with midnight black hair, dark umber eyes.

Those eyes, I could recognized anywhere but never with that sense of happiness, always submerged in anger, fury, and drunken rage.

"Dad?"

Dad's face, the same face that I've been terrified of since before I could remember looks happy. He uncoils his arms from Alexa's neck and waist, grabs her by the neck and pulls her into a long awaiting kiss.

Once they pull away from each other Celia attacks her into a hug whispering, "I'm so proud of you."

My mom leads them through the crowd, up the famous Victor's Hill leading into Victor's Village. Before walking into the Village Alexa turns on her heel and waves and blows kisses to the entire District.

And the screen fades to black.

* * *

"I think I should go to my room." my voice breaks as I speak. I stand and begin pacing to my room.

"May, wait, there's more." Jayson says.

I turn on my heels and walk back into the living room; I sit on the arm of the sofa and continue to watch. _**'EIGHT YEARS LATER'**_ is stretched across the screen. The camera shows a white wooden door open and out pops the tanned skin, dark hair, auburn eyes, and shining smile I have come to know in the past few days.

"_**Hey Caesar, welcome to my home; please, come in." she says opening the door to reveal a shock that nearly sends me to my knees. A stretched, plump belly about the size of a beach ball a halo surrounding her entire body, she places her hand on her bulging stomach, "Surprise."**_

"Aw, look at little Meana in there."Finnick says with a toothy smile, and I return it with a blush.

"_**Oh my gosh, Alexa! You're going to be a mother!" Caesar practically yells.**_

"_**I know! I'm so excited" she retorts, rubbing her belly; rubbing little me.**_

"_**As you should be, is it going to be a boy or a girl?"**_

"_**A little baby girl."**_

"_**What are we going to name the little princess; I suggest we name her Caesara."**_

"_**Wow," she giggles as my father walks in and they snake their arms around each other, "We're going to name her Lana, after my mother."**_

"_**Aw, that's so sweet."**_

_**The interview proceeds but my eyes only see the pudgy outline of Alexa's shirt, the bulging navel, her hand placed just beneath it securing and protecting the innocent life she is carrying, the love of her life treating her like the queen she must have been to him, his lips touching hers in a way oh-so-familiar to me, the light shining through both of their eyes as they stare into each other's.**_

"_**So, are you two going to get married?" Caesar asks snapping my attention back to him.**_

"_**Yes, in two months." My mother and father say in unison, once they realize the harmony they gaze at and giggle to each other. **_

"_**Two months too long." My father speaks alone before my mother takes his jaw and leads his lips to hers, after about five seconds they pull apart with that suck-like sound.**_

_**Caesar glances at the happy couple and says, "Wow, now THAT is love Ladies and Gentlemen. So Alexa, one last question; are you ready to become a mentor for the 50th Hunger Games, also the 2nd Quarter Quell?"**_

"_**Yes, I'm ready I just hope I'm as well a mentor as my mentor Mags is."**_

"_**And I'll bet that you are."**_

"_**Thank you."**_

"_**Well, I'm sorry Alexa, but that's all the time we have. We'll see you, and that little angel soon, right?"**_

"_**Of course."**_

"_**Well citizens of Panem once again your Victor of the 49th Annual Hunger Games, Alexa Ludwig."**_

_**Alexa's beautiful smile is portrayed as the screen fades to black.**_

How? How could someone so beautiful, so filled with life, how could she be gone? Without even hearing her baby girl's first words, watching her take her first steps? How could she leave me here to face the brutality of someone who appeared so gentle and loving? Why is she gone? Why did she have to die?

Before I know it, a stream on tears is cascading down my face, before anyone can notice I quietly walk back down the corridor and into my room, close and lock the door. I grab my usual swimsuit, shorts, and tank and head to the shower. I walk into the bathroom and shut the door behind me, I place my back against it, wince at the pain, and slide down to the floor; I pull my knees to my chest and place my forehead onto my them. I let the tears fall and I think to myself. _**Why aren't you here? Why did you die? Why did you have me? I would rather you be here without me then me here without you. You should be here, not me. I'm going to die in a few days, maybe I can see you when this is all over,**__**when the world is nothing to me but a dark abyss filled with nothing but death, killing, and hate. We were both lucky mom, we found the one thing in this world that is worth finding, love.**_

And with that I begin to sob into the thick fabric of my training outfit, I hear a faint knock behind me from the door of my bedroom, "Maena, are you ok?" Jayson's voice alone brings a smile to my face.

"Yeah, I'm ok." I reply trying with all my might to keep my voice from breaking.

"May, I know you're not, just open the door babe."

"No, Jayson really I'm fine."

"Maena, please, open the door."

I stand, saunter into the bedroom, unlock then open the door, and am immediately engulfed into Jayson's arms. He wraps his wings around my neck and my head is buried into his chest, I circle my arms around his waist, "Maena, don't cry, please don't cry. Your mom loved you, you know that right?" he pulls me away and stares directly into my eyes.

"Yeah, I know, I just-just,"

"Want her to be here."

"Yeah." I put my head back into his shirt.

"It's ok, it's ok, I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere I'll be here with you forever."

"Yeah, but I won't."

"Maena, stop talking like that." He squeezes me tighter, stating that he means business. "You're not gonna die, I won't let that happen. I can't lose you, I won't lose you. I love you."

"I love you too."

* * *

"Maena, Jayson, get out here the scoring is about to start." Annie yells from the living room. Jayson had gone to his room and I'd just stepped out of the shower, in a blue and black zebra print bikini and light denim shorts. I walk out into the hallway and find Jayson leaning by the side of my door, in nothing but his swim shorts, gazing at me with a smile.

"Hey beautiful." He steals a kiss and winks.

"Hi." I take his hand and lead him into the living room.

The room falls silent; suddenly the Anthem of Panem blares throughout the room.

Caesar's powder blue hair, lightly tanned skin, and bright-white smile is projected onto the screen, _**"As you know, the Tributes were rated on a scale of 1 to 12 after five days of careful evaluation. So let us begin."**_ He grabs a stack of notecards and reads.

"_**From District 1, Marvel Studio, with a score of 9."**_

"_**Glimmer Rose, with a score of 9."**_

"_**From District 2, Cato Richards, with a score of 10."**_

"_**Clove Fuhrman, with score of 10."**_

"_**From District 3, Shock Wave, with a score of 5."**_

"_**Nettle Current, with a score of 4."**_

My chest tightens once he says, _**"From District 4, Jayson Reynolds, with a score of 9."**_ I sneak a kiss upon his cheek as the room fills with congratulations.

Finnick comes behind us and slaps Jayson on the back, "Good job kid."

Caesar continues, _**"Meana St. Clair, with a score of 10."**_

I exhale in relief, "I'm proud of you babe." Jayson whispers in my ear before kissing it, I blush so wildly that I have to turn away.

"_**From District 5, Thistle Prockner, with a score of 4."**_

"_**Janely Emerson with a score of 6."**_

"_**From District 6, Lucius Malfoy, with a score of 4."**_

"_**Flora Lensure, with a score of 2."**_

"_**From District 7, Rowan Timber, with a score of 6."**_

"_**Fawn Dawson, with a score of 5."**_

"_**From District 8, Holden Chance, with a score of 6."**_

"_**Harlow Flynn, with a score of 9."**_

"_**From District 9, Cobalt Wheat, with a score of 6."**_

"_**Arrietty Charles, with a score of 6."**_

"_**From District 10, Dusk Taylor, with a score of 3."**_

"_**Marigold Rivers, with a score of 2."**_

"_**From District 11, Thresh Garden, with a score of 9."**_

"_**Rue Stenberg, with a score of 7."**_

"_**From District 12, Peeta Mellark, with a score of 8."**_

"_**Katniss Everdeen, with a score of 11."**_

"_**Wow! These scores are amazing! It looks like this year the games are going to be EXTRA special. Well everyone I'll see you tomorrow for the interviews. Good night everyone!"**_

* * *

"Good job you two. I'm so proud." Finnick says.

"We should celebrate." Annie inserts.

"We should order dessert." Lania adds.

"Yes! I say chocolate cake and ice cream!" Jayson nearly yells.

"And gummy worms and orange juice." I inject.

We all join in laughter. Soon the celebration of cake, ice cream, gummy worms, orange juice, chocolate covered strawberries, and spirits arrive; we indulge as we watch the recaps.

Once the recaps are over Lania orders us to our rooms to quote, unquote, "Get some beauty sleep."

Hand in hand, Jayson escorts me to my room, "Goodnight love."

"Goodnight Jayson." I get up onto the balls of my feet and kiss him; the sweet chocolaty taste of cake faintly traces his lips.

"Can you sleep with me tonight?"

"Maybe." I bite my lip, knowing Jayson I can already anticipate his next move; he inches towards me until the only thing that could cut through us is the small sliver of air separating us.

"No. No you may not." I turn my head to find Lania, six feet down the corridor staring at us wearing a hot pink silk dress, matching slippers, and a head wrap, "Maena, to your room now."

My head weightlessly sinks down and floats back up to Jayson, "I'm sorry, see you in the morning."

"First thing." He smiles and closes the space between our lips.

I hear the swish of shoes upon the carpet before Lania takes my shoulders and begins to lead me to my room. "Goodnight." I manage to say before I am tossed into the dark loneliness that is my empty bedroom.

* * *

"Are you ready Maena? I have a surprise for you." Alexander says once I arrive in the dressing room.

"Yeah, I guess."

After an intense scrub down and make-up application Alexander rejuvenated the red in my highlighted hair and pins it so every strand is a cascade of curls down my left shoulder, then he walks to the closet and takes out a hanger that holds my dress. "Here, put it on."

I take the hard plastic and gaze at the beautiful gown, I quickly put the dress on and Alexander zips the back.

"Oh my gosh, Alexander, I love it! It's amazing!" I nearly squeal once I look into the mirror.

Ocean-blue silk wrapped around my neck covering every inch of my wounded back and clinging to my torso and beyond, stopping at my knees only to have purple and green sheer linen gust out to the floor nearly covering the six inch silver stilettos.

"Maena, there's something very special about this dress."

"I know, it makes me look like a mermaid!"

"No, I had help designing it!"

"What are you talking about? Who helped you design it?"

"Ah, you may know her, her name was Alexa. Maena. Ludwig."

With every name he says my heart swells and swells, until it finally bursts, "My mom helped you design this."

"Not only that. It was created with the same fabric I used for her Interview and the Victor's Special."

I run my hand down the silk as Alexander adds the final piece to this work of art. He brings the necklace down on my neck then pulls my hair out of it. Salty tears reconcile back into my eyes for the umpteenth time since Lania uttered my name.

"Don't you dare cry you'll ruin your make-up." Alexander bellows once he notices the water.

I do nothing but smile.

"Thank you, Alexander. Thank you so much." I feel a blockage in the back of my throat; I forced it down and demanded the tears to cease flow. Alexander puts his arm on my shoulder and begins leading me, to the back of the auditorium.

Once we arrive I am surrounded by Finnick, Annie, Lania, Alexander, my colorful styling crew, "Where's Jayson?" I ask scoping the crowd, soon I feel a soft tickle on my hips as I see hands twist around my waist.

"Looking for me?" Jayson whispers into my ear.

"Not anymore."

Jayson releases me and spins me around, "You look beautiful," he says as I giggle in thanks, "If I didn't know any better I could swear your name was Alexa." He chuckles, the bright blue vest below his black suit bounces with every laugh.

I smile, but before I can say anything jazz-like music is blasted throughout the auditorium, "Ladies and Gentlemen, your master of ceremonies, Caesar Flickerman!" the crowd goes wild and the stage manager orders us to get in line by order of our district with ladies first.

I get behind the boy from 3 and in front of Jayson, he slowly places his hands on my waist and his chin on my shoulder, "Are you nervous?" he whispers.

"Very."

"Don't be, you'll be great." His lips gently press against the bone connecting my neck and shoulder as he squeezes me even tighter.

"Hey do you remember what today is?"

"Yeah it's Kylee's birthday, how could I forget her birthday is always on the day of the interviews, Caesar is her favorite part of the Games."

"Let's see if she does indeed shine. Let's have a warm round of applause for Glimmer!"

Glimmer turns and look straight at me, "Watch and learn, Fishy."

"Ok, show me what NOT to do."

She rolls her eyes then turns and walks away, the line moves up as Glimmer takes the stage, she stays with Caesar for three minutes before a giant gong rings and she is dismissed. Glimmer walks backstage with a huge smile. She walks towards me, "Jealous?"

Marvel leaves for his interview as Glimmer just stands there, "Did you enjoy my interview, Jayson?" she takes her index finger and trickles up and down his sleeve.

HOLD THE PHONE! OH NO SHE D'INT!

"Um, excuse you." I say to her in an obviously ticked off.

Jayson grabs her hand and puts it back to her side, "I wasn't really paying attention, I was too busy listening to my girlfriend's heartbeat.

Glimmer scoffs, flips her hair, and walks away. "Well, looks like I showed her."

I grab his hands and squeeze them around me then I turn my focus back to the interview, "So, Cato, are you ready for this year's games?"

"Yes Caesar, I am very ready. I'm ready, I'm vicious, I'm prepared, I'm so excited."

"You sound very excited, but tell me is there a special girl back home waiting for you to return home?"

Cato smirks and shakes his head, "No, I mean a lot of girls back home have crushes on me, how could they not I mean come on look at me?" Literally every woman in the audience screams at him as he sends a dazzling smile and bats his baby blue eyes.

"I'm sure they do, but do any of them, catch your eye."

"No, not really I never had the time to think about that I was too busy preparing for this moment."

"Oh ok, that is very good, Cato. So what is your strategy going into the Games?"

"To win."

Caesar chuckles before a gong blows its furious ring.

Cato sits up from his chair and saunters off the stage, once he passes me he gives me the same amazing smile with a cocky tinge added to it. My blood boils at the sight of him, the wounds on my bandaged back begin to throb, and my breathing and heart beat quickens. District 3's interviews seem to speed by in a flash because the next thing I know the stage manager say, "Maena St. Clair, you're next."

"Ugh, I'm scared."

Jayson kisses my neck once more, "Don't be, you'll be fine."

I am forced to walk out to the left curtain and stand until I hear Caesar's voice, "The Little Mermaid who captured your hearts, ladies and gentlemen please welcome, Maena !"

I step out of the curtain and onto the stage that explodes with applause, I walk towards Caesar with a smile on my face waving towards the crowd I finally reach the chair next to Caesar. He shakes my hand, brings me in for a hug, and lightly kisses my cheek. We sit and Caesar begins the interview, "Maena, let's chat. Tell me about your life back home." Caesar says, his baby blue colored eyes gazing into mine.

"I love District 4. I couldn't imagine living anywhere else waking up three hours early just to go swimming. But I'll tell you Caesar, you've never lived until you've swam at midnight on a full moon, there is nothing more beautiful." I go back to the night of my 16th birthday, Jayson took me midnight diving, he'd found a cliff a couple weeks back about 50 feet high; it was terrifying but he encouraged me to face my fears and it ended up being one of the best nights of my life. That was the night that I knew in my heart that I was in love with him.

"Thanks Maena I'll be sure to try that. Maena, tell me, who do you remind me of? It's right there but I can't quite find it."

"I look like my mother. Her name was Alexa Maena Ludwig." the look on his face once I say her name is astounding, pure happiness, with only slight confusion.

"I see it now, you look just like her, not even that. You are the spitting image of Alexa. But I thought when she passed so did the baby she was carrying, could you elaborate on that?"

"No, I don't know anything about my birth, I didn't even know I HAD a real mother until a couple days ago."

"Really? You never knew that the Victor of the 74th Hunger Games was your mother. Then what would people tell you at home?"

"I remember asking my father what happened to her, but all he would tell me was that she was gone, but I'd see her again one day when I'm older." I try to hold back my emotions but they slip with one crack.

"Wow. How did you father take it?"

I giggle, I won't come clean to the abuse on national television, even though if the roles were reversed I believe he'd scream to the mountaintops "MAENA HITS ME!".

"Not well, he was angry for a long time, I don't think he ever really got over it, and I can't blame him, if the person I'm in love with wasn't here I'd go completely insane."

"You're in love?"

I bite my tongue when I realized what I'd done, but I won't lie, "Yes Caesar, yes I am in love with a very special guy who had my heart since the day we met."

"Would you like to say hello to this wonderful gentleman?"

I turn to the backstage curtain and smile, "Hi Jayson!"

Caesar's face is in total shock, "Jayson? You are in love with your district partner?"

"Yes sir. Oh, but before I run out of time may I say something to another special person back home?"

"Of course... Watch out Jayson." Caesar turns to the backstage and chuckles.

I smirk, "He has nothing to be worried about. I just want to say Happy Birthday to my bestest friend in the whole world, Kylee, I love you so much, Happy Birthday." I bring my fingers to my lips and kiss them, then let my love fly into the air.

The gong rings and Caesar and I stand, he lifts my hand and says, "Ladies and Gentlemen, Maena St. Clair!"

I smile to the crowd and walk backstage, I pass Jayson in the curtain, he takes my arm and holds me close, "I told you that you'd do great."

I kiss his cheek, "Thanks good luck babe."

"Thanks May."

I walk to the back; I see all of the other tributes in spectacular dresses and tuxedos, but one in particular was missing.

"Good job Maena." Peeta says as I walk towards them.

"Thanks. Hey have you guys seen Harlow she wasn't in line?"

"No, maybe she went to the restroom." Katniss suggests.

"Ok, I'll go look for her, and you guys look great by the way."

"Thanks you too."

"Thanks, good luck."

I walk away towards the restrooms only to be stopped by the television on the wall next to me, "We'll, Jayson, we already know Maena loves you dearly, what I want to know is do you feel the same way?"

"Yes, yes I do. I love her more than anything." My heart melts with his loving words.

"Aw how sweet we should call you two Mayson."Caesar gruffly laughs along with the audience.

"Jayson, tell me about your family, how did they feel when you volunteered?"

"My mom and sister were kind of upset, they don't like the thought of not seeing me every day," the crowd erupts in laughter and coos as he winks to them, "but I think this is really hard on my little sister, Kylee, because today is the first birthday when I'm not there to wake her up with breakfast, take her swimming, and sing her to sleep."

"Aw, that's so sweet."

"Yeah, Happy Birthday Kylee, I love you."

I can see it right now, Kylee is in her mother's arms blushing like there is no tomorrow, but on the inside she is dying knowing that soon she will lose either her brother, or her best friend, maybe even both.

My heart is fluttering a mile a minute after the gong sounds, I look down only to see the bright green eyes of Glimmer she seems to be steaming, haha I love it. I look at her and begin to walk away to look for my friend.

* * *

Where is this girl? I search left and right, up and down, I even spin around a couple times, I still can't find her. Suddenly my ears sense giggles and whispers on my right.

"If you want it back, you know what you have to do." I hear a voice that I should know, but never in that tone, that happy and flirty tone.

"Just one, ok, I think it's almost my turn." I instantly recognize Harlow's speech. I sneak my head around the corner to see who she is flirting with. I nearly yell in surprise when I see my green-eyed, red-haired ally standing there; in a gorgeous skin-tight black dress that relinquishes its grip at her waist in a puff of shiny black linen that stops at her knees and her feet are encased in platform six inch heels with multicolored textile patches; with the blonde-haired, blue-eyed DEVIL, "Harlow and Cato?" I whisper. "Oh my gosh, I'm going to be sick." Their lips meet once, twice, three times. "What the –"

They separate before I can finish my thought, Harlow smiles and says, "I'll see you later Cato."

"Tonight?"

"I don't think so."

She takes something from him and turns my way, I silently attempt to run away before she sees me. I successfully make my way backstage in the line behind Jayson, "Hey, you did really good, I'm so proud of you." I plant a kiss on his lips.

"Thanks, where were you I was scared that you missed the whole thing."

"I would never."

After more tributes enter and exit the stage, Harlow is summoned.

Her heels click down the line, up to the curtain, and stop until her name is called, "Ladies and Gentlemen, Harlow Flynn."

She makes her way onto the stage and sits next to Caesar, "Harlow Flynn, how do you feel about being in the games?"

"Honestly, Caesar, I have to admit I am very nervous, but I think I have a chance."

"Good, good, that it really good. Harlow, I must ask, a beautiful girl like yourself, you must have a special someone waiting for you back home?"

'No, but she has one right here' I think to myself.

"No," she chuckles, "The only men in my life are my brother and father."

"Yes, Harlow speaking about your family, who was it that caused the disturbance during the reaping?"

"That was my big brother, when I was in the Justice Building he broke down; he said that if he could he would have volunteered to take my place in a split second."

"I believe he would, Harlow, I believe he would."

The gone blares and Harlow, after having her hand raised, is sent back stage.

"You did really good, Har." I notice a multicolored, beaded bracelet around her wrist, "Hey, is that your mother's bracelet?"

She looks down at it and smiles, that must have been what she took from Cato, "Yeah, Cato must have dropped it or something, I found it in the bathroom hallway."

"Oh, cool, I'm glad you have it back."

* * *

The rest of the tributes finish their interview, Districts 9 through 11, "Katniss Everdeen." The stage manager, says as he takes Katniss to the stage. She waits until Caesar says, "From District 12, District 12 you know here as The Girl on Fire!" he waits for the crowd to settle from his words before continuing, "Well, we know her as the lovely Katniss Everdeen!" you can tell by the expression on her face that she is scared out of her mind, she looks like a lost puppy, aw. "Welcome! Welcome!" Caesar says, "Well, that was quite an entrance you made the other day."

Katniss changes from a lost puppy to a deer in headlights, "What?" she questions, the crowd giggles at her mistake.

"I think someone's a little nervous. I said that was quite an entrance that you made at the Tribute Parade the other day. Do you want to tell us about it?"

"Well, I was just hoping that I wouldn't burn to death."

The crowd laughs along with Caesar, "So the flames, are they real."

"Yes, in fact I'm wearing them today. Would you like to see?"

"Is it safe."

Katniss giggles, "Yes."

She stands and begins to twirl her fire red, dress illuminates and gives of the presence of fire. She spins and spins and spins until she stops dizzily. And sits back down.

"I have one more question for you. It's about your sister." Caesar explains before Katniss's face turns cold, and serious, "We were all very moved, I think, when you volunteered for her at the Reaping. Did she come an d say goodbye to you?"

"Yes, she did."

"And what did you say to her in the end?"

"I told her that I would try to win. That I would try to win for her."

"Of course you did. And try you will. Ladies and Gentlemen, from District 12, Katniss Everdeen the Girl on Fire!"

And she walks off the stage and stands next to me.

Peeta, steps up, "Peeta, welcome. How are you finding The Capitol? And don't say, "With a map"" this gets a rush of laughter from the audience.

"It's different. It's very different than back home."

"Different. In what way? Give us an example."

"Okay. Well, the showers here are weird."

"The showers? We have different showers."

"I have a question for you, Caesar. Do I smell like roses to you?"

Caesar hesitates, but still he ends up sniffing Peeta's tuxedo jacket.

And in return Peeta take a whiff of Caesar's, "You definitely smell better than I do."

"Well, I've lived here longer."

"That makes sense."

Caesar laughs along with the audience, and continues, "Very funny. So, Peeta, tell me, is there a special girl back home?"

"No. No. Not really."

"No? I don't believe it for a second. Look at that face. Handsome man like you. Peeta, tell me."

"Well, there is this one girl that I've had a crush on forever. But I don't think she actually recognized me until the Reaping."

"Well, I'll tell you what Peeta, you go out there and you win this thing, and when you get home, she'll have to go out with you." The audience cheers in agreement, but Peeta's face stay the same.

"Thanks, but I don't think winning's gonna help me at all."

"And why not?"

"Because she came here with me."

I mouth drops to the floor. _**THE LOOK**_, the look that Peeta always gives Katniss, I knew I recognized it, that was the same look I gave to Jayson when we were kids, "Oh my goodness. Katniss he's talking about you." Her features do nothing but intensify.

"Well, that's bad luck." Caesar continues.

"Yeah, it is."

"And I wish you all the best of luck."

"Thank you."

I feel a hand on my shoulder; I look up only to see, Finnick. He hugs me and says, "Good job. Let's go back to the apartment."

"Ok. Bye guys see you tomorrow."

* * *

Once we make it back to the apartment, I eat dinner and take a shower. I hop into bed only to be disrupted by a knock, "Hey May, open the door before Lania hears me." Jayson whispers, I jump out of bed and open the door, we check to make sure the coast is clear and he walks in.

"Can I sleep with you tonight."

"That would make the nightmares go away, so please."

He gives me a hug and leads me to the bed, we slip under the covers, my head on his chest, his hand on my waist, the best way to be.

"It feels so weird."

"What?"

"I'm so used to singing to Kylee, right after the interviews, and I can't do it tonight."

"You can sing to me."

He chuckles, "Ok."

_Every night in my dreams_

_I see you, I feel you_

_That is how I know you, go on_

_Far across the distance_

_And spaces between us_

_You have come to show you, go on_

_Near, far, wherever you are_

_I believe that the heart does go on_

_Once more you open the door_

_And you're here in my heart_

_And my heart will go on and on_

_Love can touch us one time_

_And last for a lifetime_

_And never let go till we're gone_

_Love was when I loved you_

_One true time I hold you_

_In my life we'll always go on_

_Near, far, wherever you are_

_I believe that the heart does go on_

_Once more you open the door_

_And you're here in my heart_

_And my heart will go on and on_

_You're here, there's nothing I fear_

_And I know that my heart will go on_

_We'll stay forever this way_

_You are safe in my heart_

_And my heart will go on and on_

"Goodnight Maena."

My eyes drift and drift until they close.

_**A/N: THE SONG IS MY HEART WILL GO ON BY CELIENE DION (i love her) SEE YOU GUYS SOON (i promise)**_


End file.
